playlist
info
- this text (normal) just means the lyrics were used in the previous iteration with no alterations
- this text means it is a brand new lyric that was added in
- this text means a previous lyric that was cut was brought back
- this text means it is an unchanged lyric that was moved to a different part of the song
Each is divided from the show/production they were first heard in. Since not every single show was recorded, the dates are not entirely accurate. "Post [date]" just means that while it was used in the date of the show listed, at some point before the next show is when changes were made
Everything is sung/spoken until it's marked for them as spoken/sung, until it's marked as sung/spoken again, etc.
Demo Version (2005) [Ver. 1]
[Callahan, spoken]
One thing you learn in this career,
The moment you embark
There is one joke you're bound to hear:
A lawyer is a shark
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
[sung]
I'm talking 'bout
Blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Oh yes, unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until
The thrill of the kill
Becomes your only law
[spoken]
Hey Mr. Schultz, hypothetical question for you
Would you be willing to defend the following
banker accused of fraud?
[sung]
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
To your client, all she saved through two world wars
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On limosine and heroine and whores
[Aaron, spoken]
No, I wouldn't take that case!
[Callahan]
Wrong!
This one is a win unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
Your guy goes free, and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the
Blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobbes
Only spineless slobs
Would quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
Yes, blood in the water
Laws for carnivores
And if you refrain,
You'll never get paid
The blood they'll spill is yours
[spoken]
Now listen up, I run a billion dollar law firm
And I hire four new interns every year
From this class I plan to choose
Four young sharks who hate to lose
And those four will have a guaranteed career
[sung]
So I wanna see
Blood in the water
Let the games begin
Four of you will win
But just those four with a dorsal fin
Yes, blood in the water
So bite and scratch and claw
[spoken]
Ms. Hoops, hypothetical question for you
Would you be the right lawyer for the following client?
[sung]
They offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite
Well, he missed his chosen prey
Killed a nun and drove away,
Running over three cute puppies in the street
[Enid, spoken]
Sure, I'd defend him
Even if he was a typical man
[Callahan, spoken]
You lesbians think you're so tough
Gotcha!
[sung]
Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
But your employment will be very quickly ended
When he sees that your emotions make you weak
Smell that, folks
[Callahan and Students]
Blood in the water
[Callahan]
That's right!
See how quick she fell
Hit them where they dwell
They scream and yell 'cause they can tell
Their blood's in the water
Dark and red and raw
[spoken]
I see most of you have been warned
about sitting in the front row of my class
Except Ms...
[Elle, spoken]
Woods. Elle Woods
[Callahan]
Didn't anybody tell you about the front row?
[Elle]
Oh yes, they did
[Callahan]
You sat here Anyway
[Elle]
Well, yes
[Callahan]
You must have guts, Ms. Woods
Well, the rumours are all true
I like to torture the front row
So, would you summarize the case of State of Indiana
vs Jackson from your reading, please
[Elle]
Oh. I wanted to answer the puppy question
[Callahan]
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
[Elle]
Oh, I couldn't do the reading last night,
The Apprentice was on!
Back to back episodes
[Callahan]
You do have guts, Ms. Woods
Ms... Kenzington
Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go, or...
[Vivienne]
No, I'd throw her out
[Callahan, sung]
Ah well, then
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat
So grab your coat
Hey, you've got guts but now they're spilled
Your blood's in the water
So would you please withdraw?
And when you return,
Be ready to learn
You think that I'm mean?
Go call a marine
That's just how I rule
In life as in school
With fear and shock and awe
[Callahan / Students]
You're nothing until /
Blood in the water
The thrill of the kill /
Blood in the water
Becomes your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Hey, it's only law /
Blood in the water
Workshop (2005) [Ver. 2]
(hard to hear since it's live)
[Callahan, spoken]
One thing you learn in this career,
The moment you embark
There is one joke you're bound to hear:
A lawyer is a shark
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
[sung]
I'm talking 'bout
Blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Oh yes, unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until
The thrill of the kill
Becomes your only law
[spoken]
Mr. Schultz, hypothetical question for you
Would you be willing to defend the following
banker accused of fraud?
[sung]
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
Off to your client, all she saved through two world wars
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On limosines and heroine and whores
[Aaron, spoken]
No, I wouldn't take that case!
[Callahan]
Wrong!
This one is a win unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll get some hack from legal aid
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
Your guy goes free, and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the
Blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobbes
Only spineless slobs
Would quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
Yes, blood in the water
The laws for carnivores
And don't show you're afraid
You'll never get paid
The blood they'll spill is yours
[spoken]
Now listen up, I run a billion dollar law firm
And I hire three new interns every year
From this class I plan to choose
Three young sharks who hate to lose
And those three will have a guaranteed career
[spoken]
Do you follow me?
So I wanna see what?
[Students]
Blood in the water
[Callahan]
Exactly!
Let the games begin
Three of you will win
Ah, but just the three with a dorsal fin
Yes, blood in the water
So bite and scratch and claw
[spoken]
Ms. Hoops, would you be the right lawyer
to defend the following client?
[sung]
Say they offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite
Seems he missed his chosen prey
Killed a nun and drove away,
Running over three cute puppies in the street
[Enid, spoken]
What?
You think I wouldn't defend him, just
Because he's a typical man?
[Callahan, spoken]
Ahahaha
You lesbians think you're so tough
Gotcha!
[sung]
Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
But your employment would be very quickly ended
Once they saw how your emotions make you weak
Smell that, folks?
[Callahan / Students]
Blood in the water
See how quick she fell
See how quick she fell
Hit them where they dwell
They scream and yell 'cause they can tell
Their blood's in the water
Feelings are your flaw
[spoken]
Didn't anybody tell you about
The front row, Ms...
[Elle, spoken]
Woods. Elle Woods!
And yes, they did
[Callahan]
But you sat here Anyway
[Elle]
Well, yes
[Callahan]
You've got guts, Ms. Woods
Well, then
I dolike to pick on the front row
So, would you mind summarizing the case of State of Indiana
vs Jackson from the reading, please
[Elle]
Oh. I wanted to answer the puppy question
[Callahan]
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
[Elle]
Assigned reading?
What kind of teacher assigns reading
for the first day of class?
[Callahan]
You do have guts, Ms. Woods
Ms... Kenzington
Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go, or...
[Vivienne]
No, I'd throw her out
[Callahan, sung]
Alright then
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat
So grab your coat
Hey, you've got guts but now they're spilled
Your blood's in the water
So would you please withdraw?
And when you return,
Be ready to learn
You think that I'm mean?
Go tell a marine
That's just how I rule
In life as in school
With fear and shock and awe
[Callahan / Students]
You're nothing until /
Blood in the water
The thrill of the kill /
Blood in the water
Becomes your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Blood in the water
Jan 23, 2007 [Ver. 3]
(used up until sometime after Jan 28, 2007)
[Callahan, spoken]
Now when you choose a law career,
The moment you embark
There is that joke you're bound to hear:
A lawyer is a shark
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
[sung]
I'm talking 'bout
Blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Oh yes, unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until
The thrill of the kill
Becomes your only law
[spoken]
Mr... Schultz, hypothetical question
Would you be willing to defend the following
banker accused of fraud?
[sung]
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
Off to your client, all she saved since she was born
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On prostitutes and heroine and porn
[Aaron, spoken]
No, I wouldn't take that case!
[Callahan]
Wrong!
This one is a win unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
Your guy goes free, and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the
Blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobbes
Only spineless snobs
Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
Yes, blood in the water
The laws for carnivores
Don't show you're afraid
You'll never get paid
The blood they'll spill is yours
[spoken]
Now listen up, I run a billion dollar law firm
And I hire four new interns every year
From this class I plan to choose
Four young sharks who hate to lose
And those four will have a guaranteed career
[spoken]
Do you follow me?
So I wanna see what?
[Students]
Blood in the water
[Callahan]
Exactly!
Let the games begin
Four of you will win
But just those four with a dorsal fin
Yes, blood in the water
So bite and scratch and claw
[spoken]
Ms... Hoops, hypothetical question
Would you be the right lawyer for
the following client?
[sung]
Say they offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite
Seems he missed his chosen prey
Killed a nun and drove away,
Running over three cute puppies in the street
[Enid, spoken]
What?
You think I wouldn't defend him, just
because he's a typical man?
[Callahan, spoken]
Ahahaha
Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough
Gotcha!
[sung]
Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
Your employment will be very quickly ended
When they see how your emotions make you weak
Smell that, folks?
[Callahan / Students]
Blood in the water /
Blood in the water
See how quick she fell /
See how quick she fell
Hit them where they dwell /
Hit them where they dwell
They'll scream and yell
Because they can tell
Their blood's in the water
In the water
Yes, feelings are your flaw
[spoken]
Didn't anybody tell you about
the front row, Ms...
[Elle, spoken]
Woods. Elle Woods!
And yes, they did
But I'll be fine
[Callahan]
You must have guts, Ms. Woods
Could you summarizing the case of State of Indiana
v Hearn from your reading, please
[Elle]
Oh. I wanted to answer the puppy question
[Callahan]
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
[Elle]
Okay, who assigns reading
for the first day of class?
[Callahan]
You do have guts, Ms. Woods
Ms... Kenzington
Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go, or...
[Vivienne]
No, I'd throw her out
[Callahan, sung]
Alright then
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat
So grab your coat
Yes, you've got guts but now they're spilled
Your blood's in the water
So would you please withdraw?
And if you return,
Be ready to learn
Or is that unfair?
Oh, wait! I don't care!
That's just how I rule
In life as in school
With fear and shock and awe
[Callahan / Students]
You're nothing until /
Blood in the water
The thrill of the kill /
Blood in the water
Becomes your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Blood in the water
Jan 31, 2007 [Ver. 4]
(used up until Feb 1, 2007)
[Callahan, spoken]
Now when you choose a law career,
The moment you embark
There is that joke you're bound to hear:
A lawyer is a shark
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
[sung]
Our topic is
Blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Oh yes, unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until
The thrill of the kill
Becomes your only law
[spoken]
Mr... Schultz, hypothetical question
Would you be willing to defend the following
banker accused of fraud?
[sung]
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
Off to your client, all she saved since she was born
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On prostitutes and heroine and porn
[Aaron, spoken]
No, I would not want to take that case!
[Callahan]
Wrong!
This one is a win unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
Your guy goes free, and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the
Blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobbes
Only spineless snobs
Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
Yes, blood in the water
Your scruples are a flaw
[spoken]
Ms... Hoops, hypothetical question
Would you be the right lawyer for
the following client?
[sung]
Say they offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite
Seems he missed his chosen prey
Killed a nun and drove away,
Running over three cute puppies in the street
[Enid, spoken]
What?
You think I wouldn't defend him, just
because he's a typical man?
[Callahan, spoken]
Ahahaha
Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough
[sung]
Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
Your employment will be very quickly ended
When they see how your emotions make you weak
Smell that, folks?
Blood in the water
Never blow a fuse
Those who lose it lose
But keep your cool and I've got so me good news
[spoken]
I don't just teach,
I run a billion dollar law firm
And I hire four new interns every year
From this class I will select
Four young sharks whom I respect
And those four will have a guaranteed career
[spoken]
Do you follow me?
So I wanna see what?
[Students]
Blood in the water
[Callahan]
Exactly!
Let the games begin
Four of you will win
But just those four with a dorsal fin
Yes, blood in the water
So bite and scratch and claw
[spoken]
Didn't anybody tell you about
the front row, Ms...
[Elle, spoken]
Woods, Elle Woods!
But I'll be fine
[Callahan]
You must have guts, Ms. Woods
Could you summarizing the case of State of Indiana
v Hearn from your reading, please
[Elle]
Oh, I wanted to answer the puppy question?
[Callahan]
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
[Elle]
Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?
[Callahan]
You do have guts, Ms. Woods
Ms... Kensington
Let us say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go, or...
[Vivienne]
No, I'd throw her out
[Callahan, sung]
Alright then
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat
So grab your coat
Yes, you've got guts but now they're spilled
Your blood's in the water
So would you please withdraw?
And if you return,
Be ready to learn
Or is that unfair?
Oh, wait! I don't care!
That's just how I rule
In life as in school
With fear and shock and awe
[Callahan / Students]
You're nothing until /
Blood in the water
The thrill of the kill /
Blood in the water
Becomes your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Blood in the water
Feb 1, 2007 [Ver. 5]
(used up until sometime past Feb 7, 2007)
[Callahan, spoken]
Now when you choose a law career,
The moment you embark
There is that joke you're bound to hear:
A lawyer is a shark
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
[sung]
Our topic is
Blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Oh yes, unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until
The thrill of the kill
Becomes your only law
[spoken]
Mr... Schultz, hypothetical question
Would you be willing to defend the following
banker accused of fraud?
[sung]
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
Off to your client, all she saved since she was born
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On prostitutes and heroine and porn
[Aaron, spoken]
No, I would not want to take that case!
[Callahan]
Wrong!
This one is a win unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
Your guy goes free, and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the
Blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobbes
Only spineless snobs
Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
Yes, blood in the water
Your scruples are a flaw
[spoken]
Ms... Hoops, hypothetical question
Would you be the right lawyer for
the following client?
[sung]
Say they offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite
Seems he missed his chosen prey
Killed a nun and drove away,
Running over three cute puppies in the street
[Enid, spoken]
What?
You think I wouldn't defend him, just
because he's a typical man?
[Callahan, spoken]
Ahahaha
Oh, you lesbians think you're so tough
[sung]
Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
Your employment will be very quickly ended
When they see how your emotions make you weak
[spoken]
So what's my point?
I run a billion dollar law firm
And I hire four new interns every year
From this class I will select
Four young sharks whom I respect
And those four will have a guaranteed career
[spoken]
Do you follow me?
So I wanna see what?
[Students]
Blood in the water
[Callahan]
Exactly!
Let the games begin
Four of you will win
But just those four with a dorsal fin
Yes, blood in the water
So bite and scratch and claw
[spoken]
Didn't anybody tell you about
the front row, Ms...
[Elle, spoken]
Woods, Elle Woods!
But I'll be fine
[Callahan]
You must have guts, Ms. Woods
Could you summarizing the case of State of Indiana
v Hearn from your reading, please
[Elle]
Oh, I wanted to answer the puppy question?
[Callahan]
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
[Elle]
Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class?
[Callahan]
You do have guts, Ms. Woods
Ms... Kensington
Let us say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go, or...
[Vivienne]
No, I'd throw her out
[Callahan, sung]
Alright then
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat
So grab your coat
Yes, you've got guts but now they're spilled
Your blood's in the water
So would you please withdraw?
And if you return,
Be ready to learn
Or is that unfair?
Oh, wait! I don't care!
That's just how I rule
In life as in school
With fear and shock and awe
[Callahan / Students]
You're nothing until /
Blood in the water
The thrill of the kill /
Blood in the water
Becomes your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Blood in the water
Post Feb 7, 2007 [Ver. 6]
(final ver)
[Callahan, spoken]
Now when you choose a law career,
The moment you embark
There is that joke you're bound to hear:
A lawyer is a shark
Ignore that, it's simplistic and it's dumb
Only some of you will turn out sharks, just some
The rest are chum
[sung]
Our topic is
Blood in the water
Kids, it's time you faced
Law school is a waste
Oh yes, unless you aquire a taste for
Blood in the water
Dark and red and raw
You're nothing until
The thrill of the kill
Becomes your only law
[spoken]
Mr... Schultz, hypothetical question
Would you be willing to defend the following
banker accused of fraud?
[sung]
A kind old grandma took her savings and she sent it
Off to your client, all she saved since she was born
Well, he promised to invest it but he spent it
On prostitutes and heroine and porn
[Aaron, spoken]
No, I would not want to take that case!
[Callahan]
Wrong!
This one is a win unless you're lazy!
Grandma's broke, she'll have some hack from legal aid
Put her on the stand and call her old and crazy
Your guy goes free, and he can get you high and laid!
Look for the
Blood in the water
Read your Thomas Hobbes
Only spineless snobs
Will quarrel with the morally dubious jobs
Yes, blood in the water
Your scruples are a flaw
[spoken]
Ms... Hoops, hypothetical question
Would you be the right lawyer for
the following client?
[sung]
Say they offer you a bundle for defending
A famous hitman for the mafia elite
Seems he missed his chosen prey
Killed a nun and drove away,
Running over three cute puppies in the street
[Enid, spoken]
What?
You think I wouldn't defend him, just
because he's a typical man?
[Callahan, spoken]
Ahahaha
Oh, you lesbians* think you're so tough
[sung]
Oh dear, I fear my comment has offended
Hard to argue, though, when you're too mad to speak
Your employment will be very quickly ended
When they see how your emotions make you weak
[spoken]
So what's my point?
I run a billion dollar law firm
And I hire four new interns every year
From this class I will select
Four young sharks whom I respect
And those four will have a guaranteed career
[spoken]
Do you follow me?
So I wanna see what?
[Students]
Blood in the water
[Callahan]
Exactly!
Let the games begin
Four of you will win
But just those four with a dorsal fin
Yes, blood in the water
So bite and scratch and claw
[spoken]
Yes, Ms, uh?
[Elle, spoken]
Woods, Elle Woods!
[Callahan]
Someone's had their morning coffee!
Could you summarizing the case of State of Indiana
v Hearn from your reading, please
[Elle]
Oh, I wanted to answer the puppy question?
[Callahan]
But I'm asking you about the assigned reading
[Elle]
Okay, who assigns reading for the first day of class
[Callahan]
You have guts, Ms. Woods
Ms... Kensington
Let's say you teach a class at Harvard Law School
A position that you're justly proud about
But a girl on whom you call hasn't read the case at all
Should you let it go, or...
[Vivienne]
No, I'd throw her out
[Callahan, sung]
Alright then
You heard your classmate
You have just been killed
She cut your throat
So grab your coat
Yes, you've got guts but now they're spilled
Your blood's in the water
So would you please withdraw?
And if you return,
Be ready to learn
Or is that unfair?
Oh, wait! I don't care!
That's just how I rule
In life as in school
With fear and shock and awe
[Callahan / Students]
You're nothing until /
Blood in the water
The thrill of the kill /
Blood in the water
Becomes your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Your only law /
Blood in the water
Blood in the water
song info
Sung by: Callahan, Aaron, Students, Enid, Elle, Vivienne
Different Versions: 6
Times Each Was Used:
Ver 1: 1
Ver 2: 1
Ver 3: 3 recorded, up to 6
Ver 3: 1 recorded, up to 3
Ver 4: 4 recorded, up to 8
Ver 5: 4 recorded, up to 7
Ver 6: final version
my thoughts
* = some modern productions do "women" instead here, but some don't
I really like this song and Michael Rupert's vocals make it worth sooo much more. It really sets up Callahan's character in a way that shows you that he doesn't actually care about anything other than getting what he wants. His lines in Whipped Into Shape ("I'm her only chance to win") again highlight this, which makes what happens with Elle make a lot of sense. He tells her to follow her instincts.
The ending is what really sells it for me, the last few lines just sound so nice. One detail I've noticed is that when the students are laughing at Elle for getting kicked out of class, Emmett doesn't participate in that. He does, however, join in singing the "blood in the water" part with the rest of them at the end.