playlist
info
- this text (normal) just means the lyrics were used in the previous iteration with no alterations
- this text means it is a brand new lyric that was added in
- this text means a previous lyric that was cut was brought back
- this text means it is an unchanged lyric that was moved to a different part of the song
Each is divided from the show/production they were first heard in. Since not every single show was recorded, the dates are not entirely accurate. "Post [date]" just means that while it was used in the date of the show listed, at some point before the next show is when changes were made
Everything is sung/spoken until it's marked for them as spoken/sung, until it's marked as sung/spoken again, etc.
Demo Recording (2005) [Ver. 1]
[Elle]
Why can't a man be more like a dog?
Come home from work, he's right there expecting you
Right by your side for your morning jog
Sleeps at the foot of your bed protecting you
[Paulette]
How could a man be more like a dog?
Both of them lick you and then abandon you
Same intellectual dialouge
Same sticky mess when they leap and land on you
Still...
[Elle]
Still...
[Paulette]
Still
[Elle]
I love him still
[Paulette]
There is that thrill
[Elle]
I lack the will
[Paulette]
I know the drill
[Elle]
So I keep
[Both]
Chasing him up a hill
[Paulette, spoken]
Wait a minute!
[Elle, spoken]
What?
[Paulette, spoken]
Listen to this...
[sung]
Never chase a hound
That'll only make him run faster
No, you gotta show him who's the pet
And who is the master
[Elle, sung]
Who is the master
[Paulette]
Can't outrace a hound
He will only think it's a game
And soon you wind up running 'round your neighbourhood
Cryin' out his name
But listen!
Bringing that hound to heel is no trick
Don't need to shout, don't have to hollar
First use the carrot and then the stick
First bring the cookie and then the collar
[Paulette / Elle]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Stay
[Both]
Behave the way you should boy
[Paulette]
Hard to stop a hound
When he wants to run, be a hunter
And when he's sniffing 'round some bitch in heat
Don't ever confront her
[Elle]
No, never confront her!
[Paulette]
Calmly stand your ground
If she's gonna growl, then you let her
But hold out that treat, he loves to eat
And then watch out boy, forget her!
[Both]
You'll be bringing that hound to heel and real quick
Don't need to shout, don't have to hollar
First use the carrot and then the stick
First bring the cookie and then the collar
[Paulette / Elle]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Stay
[Both]
Now treat me like you should boy
[Paulette / Elle]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Stay
[Both]
Obey me like you should boy
[Elle]
When he escapes, find out where he goes
[Paulette]
Never look angry, smile and stroke him
[Elle]
Dangle your toys in front of his nose
[Paulette]
Walk 'im on home then chain and choke him
[Elle, spoken]
Chain him and choke him?!
[Paulette, spoken]
That's what it says
[Elle]
Sounds cruel, but effective!
[Paulette, sung]
Hard to blame a hound
For the little brains he possess
So do not be one of those who rubs his nose in his messes
[Elle]
Nose in his messes!
[Paulette, sung]
Not hard to tame a hound
If you make him want to be tutored
Yes, and it's a fact
Your boy will act
A lot cuter once he's neutered!
[Elle]
Hello!
[Paulette / Elle]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Stay
[Both]
And treat me like you should boy
[Paulette / Elle]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Stay
[Both]
I'm glad you understood boy
[Elle / Paulette]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Lie down!
[Both]
And then you get a chew toy
[Paulette / Elle]
Here boy! /
Here boy!
Good boy! /
Good boy!
Come /
Sit
Stay
[Both]
Now love me like you should boy
Love me like a good boy
Love me like you should boy
Love me like a good boy
[spoken]
Now beg
song info
Sung by: Elle, Paulette
Different Versions: 1
Times Each Was Used:
Ver 1: 2
my thoughts
This was a song that was reworked into Ireland. I was initially just going to use this first version on that page, but since Elle doesn't sing in Ireland, I figured I would give it it's own. As far as I'm aware, it's the only song that was cut completely from the show that was released elsewhere. It was released with the demo track, and was performed live with early versions of Blood in the Water, Legally Blonde, and Beacon of Positivity (reworked into Positive).
I get why they cut it, but I like the vibe of this song. It gets stuck in my head a lot. I love the "your boy will act much cuter once he's neutered!" "hello!" lines lol. Since it didn't change (from what I could tell) between the demo and live performance, there's only one here... I do wonder about what the choreography for this looked like haha.